Rituals for trust and security
Now I have to tell a little story about my mother that I can't get out of my head, that makes me very happy, and yet very angry!
I gave my mother, who suffers from dementia (stage 2 dementia), a harmonica for her 90th birthday. She once told me that she had lost her beloved harmonica while fleeing the Czech Republic during World War II, when she was just 18. She didn't have anything else with her. And while searching for a suitable gift, I came up with the idea of a harmonica. That morning, while we were having breakfast, she unwrapped her little gift package, put the harmonica to her mouth, and, without any further practice, played the songs that had probably been buzzing around in her head for her entire life, almost flawlessly! (If you don't believe me, I'd be happy to send you a short video I recorded for the occasion!) It completely blew everyone at the table away. And it really annoyed me that I hadn't thought of that idea before!
I'm sure that if you specifically ask your dementia patient about their past, their hobbies, preferences, thoughts, favorite films, the song they can't get out of their head, the book or story they remember most fondly, or even the musical instrument they played a long time ago, and enable your caring relative not only to remember but to immerse them in the reality of these thoughts, you will have done them and yourself a tremendous service. You just have to dig into their past together with them, follow up, pay close attention, and then start searching. Because people with dementia can still remember earlier times clearly and distinctly, even in advanced stages of dementia.
Stimulating the senses can evoke memories that create a very special connection with the past for a person with dementia and thus improve their quality of life.
Music, in particular, often awakens long-buried memories. It doesn't matter whether you make music yourself, listen to music, dance, or sing. It's best to choose music that your loved one used to enjoy or that had special meaning for them. For this purpose, there are MP3 players, for example, that look like retro radios and have one-button operation (on/off - volume is preset), which make playback completely straightforward for the person with dementia. You can transfer up to 1,000 favorite songs, which you have previously compiled on the computer.
Making and watching videos or photo albums can also be helpful. Images that remind people of the past often make it easier for them to remember things than stories. They can also enjoy recalling past events because it gives them self-confidence and the feeling that they can still do things. There are special CDs and DVDs specifically for dementia patients that capture the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s and bring them to life.
Security comes from having established habits, fixed sequences, and routines. Rituals provide structure in the everyday life of someone with dementia. This doesn't require a great deal of effort. It starts with simple things. Leaving everyday objects in their designated place, getting up at the same time every morning, or incorporating a specific activity into the afternoon. Precious treasures for people with dementia also include positive memories from earlier years. These might be a favorite song, a trip to a favorite restaurant, or pictures from the family album that show the person with loved ones in their earlier days. Even if a dementia diagnosis turns everyday life upside down, what was once a habit still provides security today.